what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
