You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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