I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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