if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
