Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
