There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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