"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
