i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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