Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize