K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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