ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
