I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
