you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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