I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
