If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
