cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
