somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
