You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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