Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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