you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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