Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
