I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
