Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
