it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
