So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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