reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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