HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
