i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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