like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
