I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
