there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
