spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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