If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This baby is an asshole
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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