What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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