I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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