I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
