its not stalking. its research.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was like eating out sand paper
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
