sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
