Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3245) Bad night (675)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again

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  (519): oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again http://tfl.nu/6u76
  Replies (22) Good night (7264) Bad night (945)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

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  (910): so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway http://tfl.nu/w82l
  Replies (17) Good night (1106) Bad night (3812)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  wow.

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  (219): NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh (1-219): wow. http://tfl.nu/be02
  Replies (38) Good night (6808) Bad night (2985)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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  (254): I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night. http://tfl.nu/j8hi
  Replies (27) Good night (4607) Bad night (1285)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk

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  (904): It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk http://tfl.nu/fnmq
  Replies (4) Good night (3245) Bad night (1342)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (1493)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.

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  (617): did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now. http://tfl.nu/raep
  Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (1024)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.

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  (574): I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed. http://tfl.nu/w2ei
  Replies (7) Good night (1752) Bad night (489)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

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  (519): University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue." http://tfl.nu/irh4
  Replies (0) Good night (942) Bad night (395)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman

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  (484): 'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman http://tfl.nu/trz5
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (407)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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  (609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm
  Replies (3) Good night (977) Bad night (440)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake

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  (908): I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/q1u7
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (299)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.

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  (904): I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler. http://tfl.nu/oxai
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (152)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!

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  (519): A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?! http://tfl.nu/rqi5
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (116)

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