Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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