Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

(917): View more from New York City

Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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(917): Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now (917): Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway http://tfl.nu/aof1

Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (1292)
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(925): View more from California

2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

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(925): 2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/jq9y

Replies (74) Good night (11915) Bad night (1374)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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(918): the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/e8cz

Replies (61) Good night (5835) Bad night (1198)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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(919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd. http://tfl.nu/5f3i

Replies (64) Good night (8917) Bad night (885)
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(434): View more from Virginia

you would not believe what I got pierced last night...

(540): View more from Virginia

son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

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(434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night... (540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear. http://tfl.nu/q4w6

Replies (61) Good night (1947) Bad night (6478)
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(512): View more from Texas

On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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(512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462

Replies (2) Good night (2354) Bad night (875)
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(360): View more from Washington

Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

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(360): Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour. http://tfl.nu/4726

Replies (2) Good night (1425) Bad night (481)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Sex on roller skates

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Floating mattress

(301): View more from Maryland

Tie

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(301): Sex on roller skates (202): Floating mattress (301): Tie http://tfl.nu/1xsm

Replies (7) Good night (1894) Bad night (594)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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(757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx

Replies (7) Good night (1078) Bad night (1187)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?

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(514): He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT? http://tfl.nu/isnk

Replies (15) Good night (956) Bad night (1678)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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(307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec

Replies (15) Good night (2293) Bad night (539)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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(513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4

Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (637)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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(+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7

Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (458)
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(253): View more from Washington

It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong

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(253): It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong http://tfl.nu/vfo0

Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (384)
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(970): View more from Colorado

In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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(970): In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma. http://tfl.nu/78q2

Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (405)

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