the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver