I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.