Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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  (479): You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI? http://tfl.nu/c4jp
  Replies (11) Good night (614) Bad night (3451)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1846) Bad night (5275)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (8110) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1255) Bad night (2256)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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  (818): Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth... http://tfl.nu/7gxw
  Replies (13) Good night (1667) Bad night (5573)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex

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  (619): Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex http://tfl.nu/ckpn
  Replies (15) Good night (3398) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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  (970): went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out http://tfl.nu/unz9
  Replies (16) Good night (1230) Bad night (6084)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME

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  (+61): woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME http://tfl.nu/6fbk
  Replies (15) Good night (6375) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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  (408): sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here. http://tfl.nu/d4g6
  Replies (17) Good night (2455) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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  (910): So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up... http://tfl.nu/q907
  Replies (11) Good night (882) Bad night (2478)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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  (619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs
  Replies (6) Good night (3040) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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  (512): You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you. http://tfl.nu/zer9
  Replies (16) Good night (3284) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1980) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.

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  (206): I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again. http://tfl.nu/7eb6
  Replies (6) Good night (1275) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good

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  (757): You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good http://tfl.nu/ql8q
  Replies (8) Good night (750) Bad night (361)

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