You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.