my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
