Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list