She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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