well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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