The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night