Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
did i walk over a car last night?
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!