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Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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