can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something