I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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