watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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