I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
