"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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