if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We're too hungover to prance.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
