I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
