Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
