So many bounce houses so little time
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
