whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
