Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
this hospital has no fireball
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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