I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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