if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
