That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
