Nicole vs. Life
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
