it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
