So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize