I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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