i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
